LITTLE PIGGY....

Lorraine Kelly's column in the Sun reasuringly states that coconuts falling from trees have killed more people than swine flu.

Well, swine flu has been around for a week.

Using her logic, Peter Sutcliffe is less dangerous than a coconut.

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If you want a clear train carriage on the way into work this week, just start coughing loudly and exclaiming “Iválgame dios!” in a Mexican accent.

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This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.

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Apparently the NHS is on high alert, has anti-viral drugs in place and will be using all its resources and expertise to keep the swine-flu virus from spreading in the UK.

Or in other words, we're fucked.

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With swine flu spreading fast, Kermit the Frog wishes he'd used precautions before shagging Miss Piggy!

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Once upon a time, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a friend like Pooh.

Pooh though to himself: "If the pig sneezes, he's fucking dead."

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They say Swine Flu is on the decline
Bollocks
I was hoping they'd at least slaughter that annoying, fucking MoonPig from the adverts first.

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Reported Human deaths: over 450
Reported pig deaths: 0
Do any pigs actually have this fucking disease?

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We've had virus's from Japan, China, eastern europe... this is just a Mexican wave...

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Swine flu? What's the fuss?
S'nowt.

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Sooo....

I hear Kermit's dead.

Wonder whose fault THAT was?

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Is this the Chinese year of the Pig?